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I feel like a cocaine addict

Michael: Sometimes I feel like a cocaine addict. I like to take 100 mg of caffeine in the afternoon, but my pills are 200 mg. That means I need to split them. I typically split a pill on the counter with my pocketknife. I put one half pill back in the bottle and swallow the other half with water. But there's a fine white powder left on the counter from the cutting procedure. I wipe it up with a finger and then lick the finger. Can't let any coke go to waste!

Katie: Coke and caffeine are certainly similar. :)

Michael: Maybe someday I'll upgrade from my pocketknife and the counter to a straight-edge razor blade and a pocket mirror and really freak people out.

Katie: Does anyone ever see you?

Michael: Not usually. I am known as "the pill guy" though, for my proliferation of Coenzyme Q10, fish oil, multivitamins, ibuprofen, and caffeine bottles.

Katie: People say "the pill guy"? Sad!

Michael: Every now and again someone will happen upon me downing some pills and say, "Oh, so you're the pill guy!"

Katie: When Libby and I were in Virginia, there was this older man with a big zip lock bag of pill bottles at breakfast at the B&B. We made fun of him. :)

Michael: Older people get a break, since they're often on lots of medications for heart, diabetes, etc.

Katie: Well, he got no break from us.

Michael: Sad.

Katie: I guess you probably don't mind being the pill guy.

Michael: I do not mind being the pill guy. I am hard to embarrass.


I actually have a friend (Ekrem) who once thought it would be fun to actually snort powdered pharmaceutical caffeine. He and his goofy high school friends ground up a bunch of caffeine pills and snorted them. I can't remember the hilarity that eventually ensued. It might have involved modifying the rules to a board game in some strange way. Perhaps he would be persuaded to enlighten us in the comments!

Comments

  1. Wigie5:46 PM

    > Katie: Coke and caffeine are certainly similar. :)

    Coke *is* my caffeine. Or rather my source thereof.

    AP and I still tell the Ekrem Vivarin story. Never fails to amuse and entertain at any social gathering.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous8:11 PM

    My recollection of the Ekrem/Vivarin story is that some sort of major high school project was involved (hence the desire to pull an all-nighter).

    My parents down bags of pills each day, too, but almost none are prescribed...so they're definitely "pill people."

    ReplyDelete
  3. J-W Maessen11:08 AM

    This was the same high school friend who got duct taped to the wall of the pit, right?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous7:48 PM

    It was actually a different friend from the one who got duct-taped to the wall.

    And I could be mistaken, but I don't think there was any late-night schoolwork involved, just late-night boredom and silliness. :)

    ReplyDelete

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