Skip to main content

Smooth as a Baby's Bottom

Top Ten Reasons to Shave Your Beard when your Son is Born

10. Determine if your razor really does shave as close as his bottom.

9. Share in baby's first sport: Will your face outrace his head?

8. Double your wife's discomfort by convincing her that two strangers now live in her house.

7. Show your wife how you got the nickname "Babyface."

6. Emulate the model father on the Baby Bjorn packaging:
5. Avoid calendars by by using whisker length to determine when paternity leave is over.

4. Two words: Grip Reflex.

3. Determine whether baby really does have daddy's chin.

2. Avoid mid-life crisis by convincing self that you are fifteen years younger.

And the number one reason to shave your beard when your son is born . . .

1. Rub noses with your beautiful baby without simultaneously brushing his teeth.

Comments

  1. Rusty11:16 PM

    You do look 15 years younger!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ana12:21 PM

    You're a dead ringer for the Bjord dude!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unknown11:27 PM

    Oh my God, are you 17? Katie must be robbing the cradle...

    ReplyDelete
  4. cheriemom1:36 PM

    you look so young!! HOW SWEET THAT YOU SHAVED FOR HIM!!! I REMEMBER WHEN YOUR DADDY SHAVED MY CAT!!! YOU TOOK A SHAVER AND BUZZED HER! SHE HAD THE MOST COMFORTABLE SUMMER EVER!!LOVE MOM GRAMMA!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. J. Michael Andresen4:57 PM

    It certainly does make me look younger. When I first grew it in college, it was nice to look a little older. I feel more conflicted about looking older these days!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Can You Cross Your Toes?

Katie and I had a heated discussion the night before last. We were sitting on the couch watching Jon Stewart when she noticed a large, apparently cancerous growth sticking out of the bottom of my foot. She asked what the big lump in my sock was. "That's my toe," I responded, nonplussed. I had crossed my first and second toes, causing a lump to protrude from the bottom of my sock. Katie was quite alarmed. "You can cross your toes?" "Sure, can't you? Everyone can cross their toes!" "Of course I can't cross my toes. Who can cross their toes?" And I confirmed that Katie could not, in fact, cross her toes. Even manipulating her toes with my fingers, I could not get her toes to stay crossed. She just has very short toes. That led, of course, into a discussion of who was the freak. Were my long, crossable toes abnormal, or were her stubby, uncrossable phalanges the outliers? In case you're confused, here are some pictures. First, of my v
35 comments
Read more

Leagalize drugs!

The Economist has a wonderful editorial this week about legalizing drugs. I wholeheartedly agree that the world will be better off by far if the United States legalized, taxed, and regulated illicit drugs such as cannabis, cocaine, and heroin. The goods that will come from legalization: 1. We will save the $40 billion the US spends trying to eliminate the supply of drugs. 2. We will save the costs involved in incarcerating so many drug offenders (as well as gain their productivity in society). 3. We will gain money through taxation on the legal drug trade. 4. Legalized drugs will be regulated, and thus purer and safer to take. 5. With all these savings, we will have lots of money to spend on treating drug addiction as a public health issue rather than as a law and order issue. We will have lots of money to fund treatment programs for addicts that are ensnared by the easier availability of drugs. 6. We will prevent tens of thousands of killings in countries that produce drugs when proc
10 comments
Read more

2009 Prognostication Quiz: Post 6 of 14, Writing

I have been a bit distracted of late with my recent experiment in fatherhood . I've been so busy blogging about Max that the Prognostication Quiz dipped a bit on my priority list. Grant thought that the most pressing issue of 2008 was the financial crisis, and thus thought that The Wall Street Journal might pick up some Pulitzers for their writing. Instead, the big winner was the New York Times, lead by the 2008 award for breaking news reporting for its in-depth coverage of the Eliot Spitzer debacle. The Wall Street Journal was shut out . That means that the answer to Question 6 on the 2009 Prognostication Quiz is A. A whopping 23 (of 43) entrants picked The Times. At the top of the leaderboard, previous leader Tina guessed B, which allowed four people (Pete C., Ted, Zoe, and Stephanie) to catch up to her four points. Zoe is particularly impressive in this bunch, having recovered from her 0-for-2 start by reeling off a dizzying 4-for-4 run. Katie, Gloria, Leanne, Jeremiah, Heath
7 comments
Read more