Sad Valentine's Day Story #1

I like to surprise Katie. My proposal of marriage, for example, completely floored her. Last year for Valentine's day, I acquired a massive and very fuzzy stuffed dog with a Valentine's heart in its mouth. I put it into her car so that she would have a surprise as she went off to work for the day. My joy was not diminished by the fact that the unexpected intruder so resembled roadkill as to completely creep her out when she first approached the car.

Katie traveled to Arizona for work on Wednesday and Thursday, so I didn't know how (or if) I should try to top my performance from last year. I thought about hiding another large stuffed animal in her luggage to discover, but that had the flaw of being discovered on the wrong day (i.e. on Wednesday, February 13). It also had the flaw of interfering with Katie's recent obsession with packing as lightly as possible.

This is beside the point, but Katie is really very funny about packing. Ever since escaping the penury of graduate school, for example, I have had a separate shaving kit with a full set of toiletries devoted to travel that I can simply put in my suitcase when I'm going somewhere. Katie has a more interesting system, put in place to assure that she will not forget something essential to her morning routine: she brings an empty bag into the bathroom with her on the morning that she is to depart, and when she uses an item that morning, she puts it into the bag. She'll brush her teeth, and then put the toothbrush and toothpaste in the bag. She'll put on deodorant, and then put the stick in the bag.

Anyway, these considerations somewhat limited what I could do with hiding things in luggage. I decided instead to send a handwritten Valentine to her hotel and have them deliver it to her on Valentine's day. I thought that would be a thoughtful and romantic gesture even if it didn't involve as much volume as I would normally enjoy.

I therefore sent email to her best friend from work (Courtney) to ask for the email address of Katie's assistant (Stacey), who I figured would have Katie's hotel information. Courtney is out on maternity leave, but her email autoreply happened to have Stacey's email address in it, anyway! Stacey was wonderfully helpful and got me the address I needed to overnight my Valentine to the Phoenix Sheraton. (Courtney and Stacey are good friends, and watched us exchange our vows. I knew I could count on their complicity!)

The Sheraton got the package on the 13th and called me, confused. I addressed the outer envelope to the Sheraton front desk, thinking they would open it and see my instructions for delivery of the Valentine inside. Instead, they seemed scared to open it. They called me and wanted to know when I would be staying with them and when I would recover the package. I told them they should open the outer envelope and then deliver the inner envelope to my wife when she checks out on Valentine's day. They thought that would be a great idea, and asserted that they would be only too happy to accede to my request.

I didn't think of it again until Katie called me after her work was all done on Thursday. We were talking along when she said something that made it sound like she had left the hotel en route to the airport. I thought she was still at the hotel because she hadn't said anything about the Valentine, which she was supposed to receive upon checking out. The fact that she had already left the hotel indicated either that she hadn't received my Valentine or that she had received it and just doesn't really like reading about how madly I am in love with her. That's a pretty sorry set of choices, but I still found myself rooting for the first. I asked her gingerly, "Did you get my Valentine, sweetie?"

"No, I haven't checked my email in a while," she responded.

I explained that it was sadder than that: that I had delivered an actual pen-and-paper Valentine as far as the front desk of the Phoenix Sheraton without being able to will it that final few feet into her waiting arms. Sigh.

One day and two phone calls later, the Valentine remains missing. If you ever happen to find yourself in Phoenix, please keep an eye out for it. I'd like a second chance at giving my wife her newlywed Valentine!