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A Magical Transformation

I have been on-again, off-again over my life in my views on fatherhood. On the one hand, I thought I would be a good father, as I feel I am loving and very patient. On the other hand, I couldn't imagine raising someone who was as horrible as I was growing up. (Hat tip and belated apology to my parents.) And what if I did everything wrong, despite my best intentions?
In the end, "the one hand" beat out "the other hand" and Katie and I brought baby Maxwell into the world. (Max is sleeping sweetly on my lap as I type.)

Even when I was feeling rosiest about fatherhood, though, it was toddlerhood and language acquisition that I most looked forward to. (I love the adorable things toddlers say as they are learning how to talk as they figure out how the world works.) The newborn period, in fact, seemed like something that I would struggle through, putting as happy a face as possible on my discomfiture. As I understood it, new parents get no sleep and are rewarded with an unresponsive baby who does nothing but eat, fill diapers, and sleep.

When Maxwell was placed in my arms that wondrous Thursday evening, however, I realized how wrong I had been. Darwin wouldn't allow a species to thrive that lavished loving attention on a single offspring during a lengthy gestation period without adapting mechanisms to insure that Daddy adores what comes out. When my infant son was first placed in my arms, I felt so strongly that what I wanted to do right then, what seemed to me the most fun I could possibly imagine, was to do anything and everything to make this baby happy and content. No more did I dread the three a.m. diaper changes or the fretful comforting of a wailing baby. They had magically transformed into the most enjoyable pastimes that I could possibly plan for myself.

Comments

  1. Anonymous4:59 PM

    Isn't it amazing? I was also surprised by how completely and intensely I loved the boys, right from the start. Congrats again to both you and Katie ...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Rusty5:38 PM

    That first moment when you see your child after birth is so magical... it's hard even to explain. Thanks for writing about it!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Pamela9:21 AM

    What a sweet post Michael! It is amazing how instinctual it is to love them. Congratulations to you and Katie. Can't wait to see more pictures of Maxwell.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Tina9:50 AM

    Awww! Warm fuzzies abound. Here's hoping you never encounter any cold pricklies!

    -Tina

    P.S. (Is Darwin your spaghetti monster?)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Victor Holmes5:14 PM

    Wow, Michael,

    You've very eloquently described feelings that overwhelmed me with both kids. While I do sometimes resent the 3am "cuddle" calls, I wouldn't go back for anything.

    Even when I can't explain to non-breeders why I feel that way.

    I'm joyous with your announcement, and I have no doubt you'll be an excellent father.

    -Victor

    ReplyDelete
  6. Lucia's Mom1:48 PM

    Isn't it amazing? I wish I skipped the PhD and had kids instead! Congratulations, he's adorable!

    -Cristen

    ReplyDelete
  7. J. Michael Andresen11:30 PM

    Thanks for all the sweet comments. I do love being a father. It's an amazing experience.

    ReplyDelete

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